Need a strong critique on this one! (WIP)

So I had this idea for a while now, and I finally thought about taking the plunge and going for it :smiley:

I’ve been doing this one for the last maybe 3 weeks, but I didn’t draw that much last week, so it should be about 7 hours of work.

There’s a lot I don’t like, but I don’t seem to be able to make that click on what’s truly missing. I feel like the transition to color wasn’t done proper, and the characters, though they appeared to have good values, it’s missing quite a lot of punch.

This is clearly a work in progress, and I don’t mind just wreaking havoc in this one and just change it massively, I want this to be a good learning experience.

Any critique you have (that’s not ‘this is shit’ xD), is largely appreciated!

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Here is what I think might be improved upon:
The man’s upper body looks flat, it feels as if you used lines to define the shapes of his back rather than light. The woman has better forms but I think it looks a bit like one arm is large, and the other one seems tiny in comparison. It also seems there could be more overlap in her forms. I feel like I see too much of her stomach, and that she seems a bit stretched?
One video that helped me a lot with perspective is this one, it is a bit of a messy way to work, but I think it’s a cool way to try to “feel” the form:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJWLaDSNBAI

I absolutely love the way you did the middle part of the image, the way the beach and horizon feels, and the beautiful forms in the sand!
I really like the way the horizon has this beautiful glow compared to the grey sand! I really like the hues! You commented about not being sure about the colors, maybe it could help to have the light on the characters have a warm color like the sunset and bring a bit of the blue hue from the sky into the shadow parts?
Great work so far, I look forward to seeing more :smile:

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That’s an awesome critique, thank you so much! I agree 100% on everything you just said, so I’ll just be brave and just merge everything and start working on it!

If anyone has any critiques, I’m more than happy to hear them!

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For me the problem is mostly the figure on the left; her silhouette is not easily readable and she’s on so much on the left side that it breaks the composition. Especially since her face is visible, it draws the attention there, but it looks wrong.

Also regarding colors, the whole bottom of the image looks heavily desaturated; if you wasn’t going for that effect, you may want to rethink colors you put on people especially, they look very grey.

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Interesting point about the silhouette, I didn’t notice that. Now that you mention it, there’s practically no difference in terms of tones between the figure and the sand, which makes it lose a lot of readability.

Also, great point on the floor and people, I’ll keep that in mind!

that’s a great image - i want to go there. I like the fish-eye effect, and the dark contrast in the foreground. The things that catch my eye are the clouds - which look very evenly spaced, the squiggly sand lines between her hair and the border - they are afraid to touch the border, and the fact that her foot looks backwards :slight_smile: - the inside of the foot is the longer part, the outside should be shorter.

As @tiar mentioned, the foreground has very little saturation while the distance has a lot of warm colors. Saturation and color temperature help our brains gauge distance - things that are close are warm, more saturated, and higher contrast - while things in the distance are cooler, have less contrast, and are less saturated. You’ll want to make sure that you balance the warms in the foreground with those in the distance (it is a sunset after all!).

To make the colors in the foreground a lot warmer is to use saturated dark reds/oranges in the shadows - you’ll have to decide for yourself if you like it. Likewise for the sand - more saturation and warmer tones, and even the umbrella - sometimes you can get the light shinning through the fabric and it makes a very warm highlight as it comes through the fabric.

Can’t wait to see the updates! Keep up the hard work

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It turns out I can’t really do that well without a reference, but here is my try:

  1. Foreshortenings don’t look like that :slight_smile: Her stretched leg is so small that her head would have to be super big, very close to the camera. Body parts also need to overlap way more. Here proportions looks like you have her from the side but added foreshortening to be also towards the camera. Here is my try of something like 30 degrees towards the camera.
  2. The girl seems 2 times bigger than the guy. Imagine they standing up. As she is also lying, she covers a lot more space that makes it even more visible as composition isn’t compensated on the right. I moved them closer and made him bigger. As they are slightly overlapping each other I think they are treated like one object, so they don’t need to cover the same space to compensate the composition.
    3 And light. Painting in grayscale and coloring isn’t such a great idea when you have so much light effects. Sunset scene means a lot of highly saturated areas which will be hard to achieve without repainting the whole image. Setting sun would give a sky way darker and saturated colors, the ground also would be very dark, as the sun lights only those surfaces that faces it (front of the guy, some areas on the girl and pole would get nearly the colors they would normally get which are very strongly lit. Ground can’t really get so much light due to the angle they’re facing light)
    4.Sea horizon is one of the flattest things that you can get in your image. It’s one of the small amount of lines you really might want to just get with the line tool.

Guess that’s all I can do. My overpaint don’t look too well as I haven’t got the reference image and had to paint over everything (can’t really color wrong values, that’s why detailing in grayscale is quite risky), but I hope you can get something from it.
Cheers :slight_smile:

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That makes a ton of sense. AND I CAN’T BELIEVE I DREW THE FOOT BACKWARDS JFC ITS THE SAME WITH THE HANDS. Thanks for pointing it out! Also great point on the colors, they are most definitely desaturated, and wrongly. Honestly, I might redraw the whole thing to be honest, it seems like there are a lot of fundamental issues with this. I’ll keep you posted in the coming weeks!

Beautiful critique, I am truly thankful for that! The only thing I disagree is on the part of the horizon, as I wanted to create a very dramatic fisheye effect (althought I somewhat failed at that part)

Great point on the scale of the characters, she does appear to be massive compared to him. I still wanted them to be two separate pieces, but I think I have an idea on how to make that work.

This is to me the most important point of your critique. I’m always a bit afraid when using colour if I’m being honest, but that is a shortcoming that I have to overcome, it looks so bland without it. I’ll redraw the whole thing, keep in mind composition, and make colour an integral part of the painting. Thank you so much, especially for taking the time to paint this!

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So I tried to apply everything you guys told me, and got to this point. I wanted to make this short, because I felt like I spend so much time on something, I end up not learning as much as I could.

@wojtryb Using color from the start was surprisingly liberating! I tried to make something look good with a high degree of saturation, but intense colors still scare me, if I’m being honest! I’ll try to be really bold with my color scheme in the future!

@tiar The silhouette problem is still a bit there, but I think it’s a problem in terms of original vision. I needed more contrasting elements in terms of colors, to not only draw the eye more to where I wanted, but also to differentiate characters from the background. Sand and people are too much alike, and the angle isn’t good for contrast. Still great critique, and when I’m idealizing something I’ll keep the silhouette aspect in mind!

@Rakurri I ended up removing some of the foreshortening, but I still watched the video. However, I think for that technique to truly work, some knowledge of anatomy is still required. Very interesting, and I’ll keep it in mind in the future!

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I like the direction! :smile: Great work man! Though I would recommend referencing fisheye photos some more, like on this picture ( https://www.google.com/search?q=fisheye&client=firefox-b-d&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwje5ome5abmAhXhyKYKHcWgBIMQ_AUoAXoECBIQAw&biw=2547&bih=1319#imgrc=cZtlNcyB-xEiPM: ) you can see that in the middle of the image that the horizontal lines are more flat and straight, while the uppermost and lowest part is super curved! I think your image would benefit from having a part that is more flat.

I would think using Krita’s assistant tool, and plop down some Fish Eye Point perspectives like in the image below might help!


(Or you can drag them wider out from the canvas to lessen the effect)
Then make the sea, the sand and brushstrokes follow the perspective assistants!
Edit:
If you want to keep the sea curved, place the horizon/middle upwards or downwards. Also you can use the guides in this direction to help with vertical objects

Uuuh, that is awesome, totally valid! Also, never used those assistants, but after trying them out they are quite powerful! A huge thank you once again!

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