@Michelist Thank you for the kind advice
. I try my best to improve my mental fortitude to at least handle the stress of learning things on my own.
I manage to have some successful moments like when I first learnt figure drawing, stuck there for a long time and deleted bunch of my online accounts that had anything to do with me drawing, out of frustration. This happens in a cycle weirdly, getting stuck on certain subject (Light and color, independent pose and perspective, Environment), don’t know what to do, getting frustrated again, but somehow fortunately some viewers and people I drew sent me messages in the new accounts, told me to be proud of the journey. I then start archiving my works. Bit by bit I cleared the subject that I didn’t understand. But I think because I know the cycle will start again, and that is just what happens when learning on your own, It makes me anxious and make me postpone things that I should’ve done early.
And yes, I know the artists that I look up to have their own troubles when learning something, sometimes I heard them saying their concerns and doubts first hand. But unstable me look at it sometimes as “glass half empty” and at other times “glass half full”. I think maintaining the positive thinking is what’s hard for me.
@YRH Yeah I realize most of the tutorials I watch that have what I think incredible shading have some kind of ref. At least in the videos that I watch, Proko and Samdoesart to name a few, the artist showed the ref(s) and how to utilize it. I also tried to keep cost down, including time spent doing research, but I guess it is inevitable. I spent multiple days once trying to find the right pose, background, and light/color refs for a commission. I think I spent time longer doing the research than actually drawing the piece. But idk maybe that’s the norm for such situation that has specific requirements.
I actually think if I can make 3D resources, even it takes a long time, at the very least I only need to make it once. But again, I really can’t do another self taught route but I also can’t buy resources outright. So currently I am saving for good 3D tuts and hardware. Gonna take a long time probably since I am not good at advertising my service; social anxiety, paranoia, and all that stuff.
@KRITAKOUGAR Thank you very much for the kind words
. I have little confidence in myself, and I really need to fix that. Having people that actually look at my work and kind enough to leave uplifting comments really helps me combat the negative thoughts in my head.